While most of what we think of as “in love” comes from the movies, it is quite different when we live in real life. It’s actually even more beautiful because it’s true. Juliana Morris, Ph.D. is a licensed professional counselor and marriage and family therapist. She says that couples in love are attracted to one another and have an unusually high level of comfort. This results in a celebration of their individuality as a couple. Are you curious if your significant other falls into this coveted category? These are the characteristics of in-love partners.
They place their relationship first.
Stan Tatkin, Psy.D. is a relationship expert and author of We Do. Saying yes to a relationship of depth, true connection, and lasting love. This is because if the relationship is not in top shape, everyone will suffer. He says that if the couple system is their top priority, both partners can be resourceful and take existential threats and fears off the table. This allows them to grow and develop together, as well as be more creative and better parents and better neighbors.
They have fun and laugh together.
Dr. Morris says that in-love couples share a natural sense for humor, which is very important. She says that humor can heal, make you attractive, sexy and defuse heated emotions quickly at the right time. “In-love couples laugh together often, have a lot of fun with each other, share inside jokes and work together to keep the world in perspective.
They are open to honest communication.
Communication is essential in any relationship. It involves listening and understanding the other person’s words. Dr. Morris calls it the foundation of a relationship, the glue that holds them together, and the best form of preventative medicine. She says that in-love couples have a natural ability to communicate and can also recognize the power of space and silence. They listen with genuine and open ears to their partners and can discern if they need help solving a problem or seeking advice.
They use the phrase “we talk”
In-love couples do not use “I” statements in conflicts or requests for changes. Dr. Morris says that they focus on words like “we”, “us”, and “we” to maintain a team approach and to solve problems. She says that focusing on the needs of the couple can help conflict not become a fight against one another and helps to focus on the union or bond between the couples.
They are respectful in conflict.
Even the most in-love couple can argue. But it is how they argue that matters. Dr. Morris says that when an argument arises, these couples use active apologies. These are sincere and humble, and create an atmosphere of safety, understanding, and safety, so the situation or behavior doesn’t happen again. “The apologies provide a balance between accountability and compassion.”
They are known for their rituals and traditional beliefs.
Your relationship will be stronger if you have shared traditions, whether it’s Friday night movies with Chinese takeout on the couch or an annual summer vacation upstate. Dr. Morris says rituals can help couples disconnect and connect.